G I R L

 It's been a very LOOONG time since I've posted, and my goal for the new year was to start blogging again and... I guess it's never too late to start right!? I'm really hoping to be better at keeping this little journal for my family. So lets shoot for once a week! Here it goes! Lot's of ramblings.

I'm not going to try to update on every life event since my last post, (which was well over a year ago I think), instead I will just start writing about where we are at now. We just found out that we are having another girl in October and we couldn't be more excited about it!

Look at that shy face! 

I don't consider myself an intuitive person, but this was one of those times when I just felt like we were having a girl. About a week after Micah was born, I was sitting in my rocking chair, nursing him to sleep, and I was thinking about our children, and how blessed I felt, and especially how happy I was knowing that Micah was our last. Now don't take that the wrong way, I love being a mother, but at the time, three seemed like all we were meant to have, and after pushing a baby out for over an hour, you especially don't want to think about going through child birth again. But again, we were done. But as I sat there nursing Micah and reflecting on all of this, I had this distinct thought come into my mind saying, "But, there's another little girl missing." and in reply to that voice I said, "No way. That's just my hormones, we are for sure done." And that was the way I felt for the next two and a half years.

 Deep down though, I knew there was one more missing, and every time having more kids would be brought up, Zach would automatically say "No more!" and then I would get this pit in my stomach, a guilty pit, like I knew we were supposed to have another one, but I didn't want to. So I kept ignoring it until I couldn't ignore the prompting anymore and we finally prayed about it and felt like it was the right time for us. I realized the reasons I didn't want to have another baby, while some were justified, other reasons were not. I didn't want to have to go through another baby stage, I didn't want to be pregnant again, buy more diapers, not sleep for a year or more straight, I didn't want to take the time to do it, but in the end I knew those reasons didn't make up for my lack of faith that heavenly father is in charge. Now I'm not saying everyone should have lots of children and if you only have a few you are being selfish. NOT AT ALL. Everyone has a different circumstance, and it is a decision between you and the lord, and so many factors play into that. This is just me blabbering down a journal so next year when I'm running on 1 hour of sleep, I can read this and remember why I'm a crazy sleep deprived mother of four 7 and under.

Now back to that night I was rocking Micah to sleep. I would be over the moon for any sweet child our loving heavenly father decided to send us, but having that prompting about a little girl missing, and then finding out we are, in fact, having a girl, is a reminder to me, that there is a loving father in heaven, and there really is a plan of happiness for our families. We are so grateful that Emma will have a sister to grow up with.. and she is too! The boys are getting a bunk bed and Emma has not been too happy about not getting to sleep in the "cool" room with the bunkbed..but now that she knows she gets to share a room with the baby she could care less about all that!
She asks me about taking care of the baby at least 10 times a day, and always says, "I'm going to help you right mommy? Because we are the girls, and I'm your best friend, right mommy!?"

Emma, I know you are going to be such a sweet big sister. Please remember to be patient, and share your toys and your clothes with her when you are both older. Always be best friends and take care of one another. Its going to be you two against the boys.

Micah's back

On Sunday, I made Zach pull over after church into this abandoned lot. I've been eyeing this spot every Sunday, dying to take pictures there (because clearly a pile of rubble means AWESOME photos). Well, it really was an awesome spot, you don't see trees like that in Arizona very often, but the kids were REALLY tired. 12 o clock church ya know. So it was kind of a bust. But these pictures just make me laugh, because they would not look at the camera. At all. I think they were all confused as to why mommy was making us walk around in the middle of nowhere when we are starving and just want to go home. It ended with me barefoot in a ditch trying to get in a field, and stepping on a good pile of thorns, ending with Zach carrying me back to the car. So enjoy Emma's side and Micah's back! Jonah is no where to be seen. He didn't like the idea of the camera in his face, while he hunted for acorns:)

the end

sunday

Just a quick post on this little beauty. She melts our hearts. She really is the sweetest little girl. Today at church she didn't want daddy to leave her or let go of her after sacrament. She asked Zach to take her to primary and sit next to her in sharing time. She wasn't grumpy just being her sweet quiet little self and wanted her daddy to be close by. So happy we have Emma. I love having a little girl who gets so excited to paint her nails and wants to watch me put my make up on every morning. (or the mornings I put makeup on). I love that she wants to paint at the counter as soon as she climbs out of her bed, and that she wants to watch youtube vidoes of toddler ballet recitals and dance along with them in her leotard. I love that she is so mellow  most of the time, and wants to snuggle me 75% of the day. I love how she dresses herself every morning and wants to wear her lady bug Halloween costume every time she sees it. I love how excited she gets about new shoes and new clothes. I especially love how every time she sees a set of scriptures in the house she takes them and pretends to read out of them. Anyway, just a quick little journal entry I guess. Saw this picture I took of her at the park last week and it makes me smile to see Emma becoming such a big girl and start to come out of her shy shell a little.